


The ones left behind often get forgotten.

by Dabberdees



Series: Old Friends Senior Companion Sanctuary [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Another in my line of old companions meeting Thirteen, Ends on a Hopeful Note, Gen, Graham is the best bro, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, The Doctor has a panic attack, This one for Amy Rory and Brian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 17:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dabberdees/pseuds/Dabberdees
Summary: The Doctor remembers a brief companion, a companion that is currently waiting for his son to come back to him.  She's a coward for never telling Brian, for never telling him that Rory isn't coming back.Thirteen fixes the mistake that Eleven made, and she curses herself, that she has to be the one to do it.





	The ones left behind often get forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't watched the short video on Youtube where Brian finds out about Rory and Amy, then please do it's heartbreaking.

Yas is currently at work, and Ryan has gone to meet up with his other friends. That’s how The Doctor found herself, bored and watching Graham potter about his house. He’s given her a selection box of biscuits to munch her way through while he finishes his chores.

“Not long now, Doc, just gotta finish watering Grace’s plants,” said Graham, walking back into the living room with a jug of water. “Someone’s gotta look after them after all.”

She watches him, a thought coming to her mind, someone else said they had to water the plants, who was it and why does Graham O’Brien… Brien, no, not him a different... Oh, that, _Brian_.

She stares at him numbly, her hand dropping the biscuit she’s eating onto the floor as she leans forward, suddenly feeling sick. How could she have forgotten about him? She never went back to tell him. She promised Brian. “Never them.” whispered the Doctor. She failed him. His son and daughter-in-law, he’ll never get to see them again. She can’t breathe, and she feels weak, her chest, it hurts. Why does it hurt?

She flinches away when she feels a hand on her arm. Her head snaps up to see who touched her, but she can't focus, he’s kneeling in front of her, but she can’t focus on him, the panic, the shame, the pain, it’s too much. She can’t breathe, her head hurts, and he’s saying something, she can’t make it out. He’s blurring; she just can’t stop the panic.

 

 

Graham, he was just watering the plants when he heard a noise behind him and watched as The Doctor seized up, shaking and mumbling to herself. Hands gripping onto the couch, the whites of her knuckles showing. He rushes to her and kneels, touching her arm and watching as panicked eyes looked at him. “Hey, Doc. It’s me. Graham. Look at me and focus on my voice.” he said, in a calm but firm voice.

“Breath, come on Doc, I know a panic attack when I see one,” said Graham, he’s had them himself. Every time he thought he felt the pain, his fear of the cancer coming back. Grace pulled him through them, and Ryan recently helped him through another. He’ll do the same for The Doc.

She blinks at Graham, not really able to focus on his face but hearing him telling her to breathe, so she does. “That’s good, do it with me, breath with me. In and out, deep breath, hold, and release slowly.” They stay there, synchronising their breathing. “Good, now look at me.” She looks at him, trying to focus on anything other than the panic.

“What colour is the shirt I’m wearing?” asked Graham.

She’s staring at his face as the question registered in her head, she glances down. “Blue.” replied The Doctor.

“Good, Blue like The TARDIS,” said Graham, in a calm voice. “Another one, which is better, a custard cream or a bourbon?”

“Custard Cream.” responded The Doctor, breathing coming a bit easier now. “But a Bourbon is nice as well.” added The Doctor, the panic is there but subsiding slowly.

“Can’t beat a Jam Cream myself though,” said Graham, moving to sit down next to her and taking her clammy hand in his. “Last one. Where did you take us last? Can’t remember, memory going in my old age and all.” said Graham, trying to distract The Doctor completely.

“We went to the Shrine of the Four Moons of Thalor.” replied The Doctor. “And you’re not old Graham, compared to me. You’re not old at all.” said The Doctor, taking one last deep breath and squeezing his hand before letting it go. “Sorry, you had to see that, thank you.” mumbled the Doctor. Her hearts are beating rapidly in her chest still.

They sit there while she centres herself. The Doctor is looking away from him, and he knows something is bothering her. “You don’t have to be sorry Doc; I know what it’s like to have them. It’s part of being Human, well Human in my case, not so sure in yours.” Joked Graham, getting a small smile in return. “You ever feel like you need to talk about it, don’t hesitate,” said Graham.

He stands up. “Now, I’m just going to go and make us both teas. Alright? I’m just going to be in the next room; I’ll be back in a few minutes.” he said, looking into her eyes before leaving the room.

The Doctor watches him go and closes her eyes. She really didn’t want him to see that, to worry about her. It’s her job to worry about them. Her mind turns to Brian, poor Brian, waiting for a son that’ll never return. She needs to face him, give him the respect he deserves and actually tell him. Curse her previous self; this shouldn’t have had to be her job. She can’t blame him though, caught up in his own grief, his own hate of himself for letting them down, he simply chose to forget, to move on — the cowards choice.

It’s a few minutes later when Graham walks back into the room, he places a tea in her hands and goes to sit in his chair. They stay in silence for a while, both comfortable in each other presence. She adores her younger friends, but everything is quick with them. They run from each place to the next, never stopping long, with Graham, it’s different. She gets to stop, chat, and watch the universe roll around. The Doctor sighs and looks at him.

“Your last name. O’Brien.” said The Doctor to Graham’s puzzled expression. “It reminded me of another. His name was Brian. Brian Williams.” Graham doesn’t speak; he waits for her to continue. “He was like you, older than my other friends but different. I unintentionally kidnapped him when picking up his son and daughter-in-law. Amy and Rory” said The Doctor, her breath catching at their names.

“What happened?” asked Graham, remembering that she sorta, unintentionally kidnapped them as well, he chooses not to mention it.

“There were Dinosaurs on a spaceship, two robots, Nefertiti…” said The Doctor before Graham interrupted.

“Wait, Doc, Nefertiti? As in Nefertiti, Pharaoh of Egypt?” said Graham, eyes lighting up. “I loved learning about the Pharaohs in school,” said Graham, history has always been a favourite of his.

The Doctor nods, seeing his excitement, is making her feel slightly better. “Brian and Rory had to pilot the ship, they shared the same gene code making it possible for them to fly it.” said The Doctor, perhaps she’ll take her Fam to ancient Egypt at some point, just have to make sure she doesn’t bump into a past self.

“What happened after?” probed Graham, a good adventure together wouldn’t cause a reaction like that. He worries that perhaps something happened to this Brian.

“We saved the day, got back safely. We went back to Amy’s and Rory’s house, had tea and talked.” said The Doctor pausing. “He said to me when I thought about leaving them; I wanted to leave because I didn’t want them to give up on being Human, you see. He said...” she stops, and he waits.

Graham doesn’t want to push her. She takes a deep breath and quotes Brian. “ _Actually, it’s you they can’t give up Doctor, and I don’t think they should. Go with him, go save every world you can find. Who else has that chance? Life will still be here._ ” said the Doctor, easily remembering what Brian said to her.

“When I offered him the chance to come along, he declined, said someone has to water the plants.” said The Doctor. Graham finally realises what caused her panic; he glances towards the jug of water he left on the side and sighs.

“He sounds a great man Doc,” said Graham, looking back at her. “You don’t have to answer, I won’t hold it against you, but why did you react like that, you know, when remembering him?” questioned Graham.

The Doctor looks at her hands. “I promised him, I promised that I would get them back and I failed, they got stuck in the past. They had to live out their lives in the past, they died, and he never got to say goodbye to his son or daughter-in-law. Oh they lived long and happy lives, but he’s stuck now, never having the chance to see his son again and I was too much of a coward to tell him. I have no idea if he even knows.” said The Doctor, anger at her self taking the forefront in her reply.

Graham, on the one hand, feels for The Doc, to lose people you promised to protect, it had to be hard, but on the other hand, he can’t help but picture Ryan never coming home, never to see him again and to always wonder what happened to him.

“You could fix it now, own up to your mistake. I take it, you know where he lives,” said Graham. She nods in response. “I’ll even go with you.”

The Doctor considered the offer, the chance to fix something that should’ve been done years ago. “You’re right; I need to tell him. He needs to hear it from me; it’s the least I can do for him… And for Rory and Amy.” She stands up and starts to make her way to his door. “I would appreciate it if you came along. Always a coward.” Graham goes to say she isn’t, but she’s already walked away.

They both leave Graham’s house in silence. They take the short walk to her TARDIS. “We’ll be back before Ryan and Yas know we’re gone.” said The Doctor, walking up the console and programming in Rory’s and Amy’s last known address. She takes a steady breath and grips the console, the panic coming back. Graham is there in an instant.

“This is going to hurt Doc, but it needs to be done,” said Graham, his own emotions struggling to come forth, he resists and tries to stay strong for his friend. She takes a steady breath; she can’t look him in the eye when The TARDIS lands and without saying a word, she walks outside with him following her.

 

* * *

 

They’re stood outside a house, watching it and seeing lights on inside. Graham hangs back, supporting his friend but letting her move forward.

“We’re roughly a few weeks, after..” She closes her eyes, a hand coming to her face. “It would be roughly two weeks since he last saw them.”

They’re in the garden now, and she steps forward to knock on the door. After a moment, she’s about to knock again when a man roughly the age of Graham opens it. He has kind eyes, but a hurt behind them.

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure who you are?” said Brian, looking at the pair of them. “If you knew my son..” he stops and closes his eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve had some news.”

The Doctor quickly wonders what he means by having some news before carrying on. “No, Brian, I’m sorry. I promised you, and I failed. I failed you, and I failed them. I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve told you straight away, but I’m a coward, and I didn’t.” said The Doctor, staring into Brian’s eyes as he realises who’s standing before him.

“Doctor?” said Brian quiet. “I..” he stumbles a bit, and he leans on the door frame. “You should come in,” said Brian, walking away and towards Rory’s and Amy’s kitchen.

The Doctor hesitates at the front door and slowly enters. She walks down the hallway, stopping to look at the pictures on the wall. She takes one off and stares at it before taking it with her.

“Graham, if you would wait here please, I need to speak to him by myself.” Graham nods, he watches her as she walks into the kitchen, closing the door.

Graham turns to one of the pictures, on it, a red-headed woman and a brown-haired man, holding each other close on what looks to be their wedding day. He turns his attention back towards the kitchen, wondering how many people she has lost in the time she’s been travelling.

 

Brian sits down at the table, not saying a word and waits until she sits down opposite him.

“It was in these exact positions that I told them they should carry on travelling with you. I wasn’t wrong when I said they couldn’t give you up, Doctor,” said Brian, pausing.

He takes a breath before continuing. “Is that another one with you, the man in the hallway? Does he know the dangers? Does he know that he might never come back? That he might never see his family again, and they might never see him again?” demands Brian, not meaning to sound hostile, but his emotions are boiling over. A week ago, he found out that he’ll never see his son again, never mind his daughter-in-law. He never got to bury them; no parent should have to outlive their child.

“I’m so sorry.” whispered the Doctor. “I should’ve done this with the face you would recognise, the man out there, Graham. He said I needed to do this,” she added.

Brian sighs and blinks back his tears before getting up and walking over to a box. The Doctor watches him, he takes out an old looking letter and comes back over, he holds onto it before placing it in front of her. She picks it up, gently, and reads it. Recognising the handwriting instantly.

“They adopted, I got that letter from my grandson. A man older than me, we spoke and talked about them. He said they lived to an old age, always in love and never forgetting their adventures with you. Rory never forgot me.” Brian stops, openly crying now. “He came to see me once, you know, I didn’t remember until Anthony told me, that’s my grandson by the way. Rory’s final goodbye to me, he had to be in his late 70s, and I didn’t even know he was my son.”

They sit in silence, each lost in their own grief when Brian looks up again.

“I don’t blame you, you know. You did everything in your power to help them. Anthony explained what happened, how it was that creature, and why you could never go back.” Brian said, finally looking into her eyes. “I’m glad you came and told me, glad that you remembered me.”

 

In the end, they sit and talk for hours. Brian invites Graham into the kitchen, and they talk about gardening, the football. Argue about who has the better team. She watches the pair of them, each having lost someone because she came into their lives. Neither of them blaming her for it though. She respects their tenacity, a Human's capability of forgiveness; she knows she doesn’t deserve them.

It during the end of their visit that Brian makes one last request, a request that breaks her hearts. He wishes to go to his son's funeral, wants to say a final goodbye to a son that he’ll never get to see again. And she grants that wish. They stop far outside of New York, she doesn’t want to risk it, and they travel to the Graveyard. It’s how they find themselves now, stood in the distance watching. The Doctor, Brian and Graham, watching Rory getting lowered into the ground. He’s had a good turnout Brian says offhandedly before stepping forward, The Doctor reaching for him but Graham holding her back with a shake of his head. She has to let Brian do this.

They watch Brian, walk forward and kneel down at Rory’s open grave. There are a few mourners still hanging around watching him with confused expressions, wondering who this man is, a stranger crying over their Rory.

The Doctor spots another, the red hair might be gone now, but there’s no mistaking who it is. Amy. She looks at Brian and makes her way over to him. She places a hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at her. They can’t make out what they’re talking about, but they watch as Brian gestures towards them.

Amy looks at them both; they watch as she looks between the two, turning her head to Brian to ask who is The Doctor. The Doctor waves at her and smiles sadly. Amy smiles back and returns the wave before she turns back to Brian; they start talking again. Graham and the Doctor leave, they head out of the graveyard to wait for Brian. They give him the time he needs to speak with Amy.

They’re broken out of their musings when a voice speaks to them. “We spoke, Doctor. About Rory, about the angel,” said Brian, his face wet with grief. “She doesn’t blame you at all. She has had a great life with him. She wanted me to tell you that, wanted me to tell her Raggedy Man.” The Doctor smiles sadly at the name.

They make their way back to The TARDIS and back to Rory’s and Amy’s house. They say their goodbyes. Graham gives his address to Brian, tells him to come round whenever but to make sure he does it in late 2018. Brian nods, understanding that to Graham this is the past. He takes one final look at The Doctor and says his thanks.

 

Graham and The Doctor head back to Sheffield, 2018, so close to 2019 now. They left in the day, and now it’s night. When they enter the house, Ryan and Yas run to them, demanding to know where they went and how worried they were. They’re about to explain when there’s another knock on the door. Graham goes and opens it.

Ryan and Yas wonder who the man that Graham has led back into the room is. The Doctor and Graham both look at him with fond, but sad smiles. They wait to be introduced.

Brian stays in Sheffield for a couple of days, getting to know Ryan and Yas, getting to know the new version of The Doctor a bit more. He becomes an unofficial member of their Fam in a way, doesn’t travel with them of course, said he’s happier staying on Earth. Someones got to water the plants.

He comes up now and then and sometimes Graham goes down to him. He’s lonely now, but he has another Family, one up north that care for him. Brian treasures the Christmas cards they send him, and the stories of their adventures with the Doctor. He sends each of them a postcard, telling them of his adventures on Earth and how Rory would be proud of him. Brian makes sure to tell the Doctor that she’s not a coward for not telling him straight away; she never could be a coward. She runs headfirst into danger; she tries her hardest to save as many people as she can. That’s not a coward, that’s someone who is brave and formidable, and he’s glad that he’s had the pleasure of knowing her. Glad that Rory and Amy travelled with her, glad they had the experience of a lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooh boy, this one, it's a Graham and Doctor story only, I thought that it would only work with the older ones. Plus, man Brian and Graham becoming friends is my jam. Unbeta-ed.
> 
> Also I had to watch their deaths and the follow up video way too many times. I finished this fic by listening to Together or Not At All on repeat and I destroyed my emotions in the process.


End file.
